i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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