evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
