i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize