Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
