Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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