doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
