I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
