i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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