If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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