this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize