She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
