After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
