First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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