He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
