You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
