a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
