I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
