He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
