it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
