I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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