let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
