big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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