i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
