I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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