no, he came in my armpit
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Operation Purity has been aborted
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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