it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
