I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
