i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
