I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
