Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
