fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
