Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize