And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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