How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your penis caused this!
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