i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
