Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
