i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize