Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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