I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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