Taylor Swift is so right about you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
