You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
