You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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