Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
