you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize