Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize