he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
