i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
