how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
