i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
