two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
