Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
