You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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