One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
