Soap is not a condiment
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
