the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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