ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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