We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
