xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
